Love like We'll Never Be Hurt

Love is the most important quality that people possess. "Love changes darkness into light and makes the heart take a wingless flight." Love is the joy of heart and soul. Ultimately love is the "immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life." Love can only be given to people as a gift; it can never be forced upon the recipients. 


I was recently reading C.S. Lewis's, best fictional book in my opinion, Till We Have Faces which his rendition of the ancient myth of the love story of Psyche and Cupid. In his version, Psyche's sister Orual is ugly and demanding. Orual has an obsessive longing to be loved; to demand complete and utter attention. She forces what she thinks is the best way of doing something or the best way of acting upon the people she apparently "loves." It is not until near the end of the story where is told that because of her actions she has driven two men to their deaths and her sister is forced to wander for eternity. Her love is not one of pure motives, without any expectations for their love returned. In reality her love is almost 9 parts hate and 1 part love. It isn't until the end of the novel does she realize what true love embodies, which is that love can only be given and never demanded or have any expectations. It must be offered through a free will of both people involved. These thoughts caused me to realize how self-centered people these days are in their quest for "true love," but I recently came across this quote which says "rather than always searching for the 'one', be the 'one' to the people around you."


Everyone nowadays is always looking for someone to fulfill all their desires and wants. This mindset is often the beginnings of selfish jerks, who are worried about their appearance and outward looks rather than their hearts and souls. Okay if this is you lets just stop for a second and think about it: when you're 80 what are you still going to have in the area of outward appearances: most likely you're gunna be ugly and fat, your bones will be groaning, most of your hair will be lost, and most of all you'll be tired and old. The only thing left in good or better condition will be your heart and soul. If you're searching for the "one" right now, wouldn't it be better to find someone who has a heart and soul worthy of the same beauty that is placed on the outward appearance? Love is about the communication between two people's hearts and emotions. Love cannot exist if the expectations are placed on appearance and social status rather than the inside.


The only way we are going to find the people who really have hearts of gold is to act out the love of God to everyone. We have to learn not to base our expectations of beauty and love on other people, because they will ALWAYS fail us. The only way we can truly love is to use the mindset that we will always be there in every situation, through every trial, always ready to listen to their troubles, and most of all ready to give all of us to the other person. Like Mark Twain said we must "love like we'll never be hurt," otherwise we'll never truly experience real, tangible love. 

Applicable to Us All

Been a week blogging and still going strong.

Forgiveness is one of the toughest subjects to write on, but the centrality of forgiveness in the life of a Christian is so vital I feel that it is important to talk about it at least a little. But before I get into forgiveness I want to talk about the difference between condemnation and guilt. What is the difference? I mean aren't both bad? Don't the both cause hurt and pain? Aren't both detrimental to us as humans?

 I was at a bible study tonight and the leader discussed the difference between condemnation and guilt. Condemnation was defined as the final judgement--condemning you to be guilty forever....the Great White Throne Judgement. Guilt, or conviction, is the recognition of sin in our lives and the knowledge that we need to go about some way of solving the problem. Condemnation is the result of unbelief in Christ. Conviction is a spirit of sorrow that is instilled in our soul through the Holy Spirit. Condemnation is the final separation from life; conviction is the factor that draws us closer to Christ. Condemnation is the ultimate accusal of failure to follow the laws of God. Conviction, on the other hand, is our admittance to failing to obey God's laws. Only until we are convicted of our wrongs can we begin to go about the paths to forgiveness. 

The teacher went on to say that in 1 John 1:9 it says "if (its conditional...its up to us) we confess our sins, he (being God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." The faithfulness in this verse is one of an unconditional unwavering sense of faithfulness. One that will always be there no matter how badly we screw up. Faithfulness does not falter about commitments it's made towards relationships. No matter what we do, God will always forgive us. Forgiveness has often been defined as "acknowledging wrong doings and not allowing them to become a barrier against relationships." The teacher continued listing such verses as Psalm 32: 1-5,7, Isaiah 43:25, Psalm 79:9, and Lamentations 3: 19-24. The Isaiah passage makes clear how God forgave us at the cross and who will "not remember your sins." Forgiveness requires the strength to not allow sins to become a barrier against fellowship. This is huge because many of us will go through the motions of saying yeah I forgive you and shake hands or give hugs or whatever you do on the outside while on the inside you are still seething. The teacher gave an example of someone hurting her so badly in some way and then turning around and sacrificing her son as an atonement for the wrong doing and then continuing to forgive that person so completely as to never broach the subject or remind the person of it ever again. That in itself is the ultimate forgiveness, God's pardoning of his chosen people on Earth. I have often reasoned that since God is perfect it was his obligation to forgive us, and since it was no harder to forgive us than his creation of the Earth, that we shouldn't have to be held accountable to the same standard. But we are still held accountable to God's sovereign law. We forgive others because Christ first did it for us. 

Her message was very inspiring, and I thought a lot about ways that I can forgive people who I have allowed to become distant through problems with mutual friends. Its helped me realize the importance of forgiveness and the freedom offered to our souls when we are forgiven and forgive.

In some ways we can't extend this perfect forgiveness exemplified in Christ because we are human. But isn't it wonderful to know that God isn't human and that He can and does forgive us. So even when we as humans fail one another we always have an ultimate hope. The teacher closed with this verse in Lamentations 3: "Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is you faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'"

Leading By Example

"Leadership is not magnetic personality - that can just as well be a glib tongue. It is not "making friends and influencing people" - that is flattery. Leadership is lifting a person's vision to high sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations."


Going back to the last post where I was talking about being excellent in everything that I do...I feel that leadership is one of those things that I need to work on. Last night I had to watch one of the hardest things that I've had to watch in a while. I played on my high school soccer team called the Fire.  I had started varsity for the past three years, but this year I decided to focus all of my energy on track. I had to watch them play one of the better soccer teams in the state (Franklin) and I had to see them get beat up pretty badly. I'm thankful to the coaches for allowing me to sit on the bench with the team during the game, which allowed me to see all my friends on the team and who were constantly reminding me of how much they wanted me to be playing. As a team they were struggling, and I really didn't know how to communicate to them because I wasn't the one on the field; I wasn't the one getting embarrassed, instead I was the one who felt like he had let down his team for not being there for them when they needed me to be. As I watched the game the frustration of several of the captains grew and guys started getting more and more upset with each other and themselves. I then realized how important leadership is to people when things get difficult. I realized the importance of leading by example. People need someone to look to when they get tired, they need an inspiration, they need someone that they can trust to always be there for them. I feel like I haven't done a good enough job being a leader. Yeah there are times when I might have done an okay job leading, like last summer with the Illusions, but I need to be better. It goes back to being excellent in everything that I attempt, if I can why not try to help others be excellent in everything they do. Perfectionism is annoying; there is never an ending. The only way we can achieve perfection is to set out and try to reach out and touch it. The only problem with seeking perfection is the little things. They are the things that separate good from great, but this is also where the leaders become the most important people in our lives. When people see leaders leading by example, they cannot be helped but pulled along in the same direction. When others see a leader doing something better or going beyond what's asked, it'll make those same people ask for something deeper within themselves. When people see a leader who not only is leading by example but who is also encouraging others to be the best that they can be, it will influence them to do great things and become better people. I wish there were more people in the world who understood how much influence they have on people when they exercise a hard work ethic, a determined spirit, and an encouraging heart. One problem with blogging is that I am held accountable for the things I say which means that I'll probably start getting onto some of you about not doing the little things. Unfortunately I'm not superman...I wish I was but I'm not so as a result I'm human and being human I make mistakes...so if you see me slacking off in certain areas, please remind me that perfection requires doing the little things well. So thanks guys, even though last night was tough, it'll get better if you keep working hard, and doing the things that matter the most. You guys definitely had a positive influence on my life and I thank you for it.

"the man who's face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"

Theodore Roosevelt said: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” 

Teddy is one of my favorite all time heroes. He was called by many to be the last "true romantic" in the sense of being a true man. His mindset to not complain no matter the circumstances, his extremely hard work ethic, and his never ending pursuit of perfection or the desire to be the best has I think carried over to my track experiences. 

I recently made the controversial statement that track is the hardest sport to compete in. I got a lot of people arguing about the fact that golf, baseball, or swimming, or even weight lifting is harder or just as difficult as track. Golf and baseball require immense amounts of skill, but honestly neither of them require much sweat, blood, mental toughness, or inner drive. Weight lifting is basically how much weight can you lift. A lift of professional or even amateur weight lifters  use steroids to build up muscle mass, and the sport requires a lot of mental toughness and inner drive, but there isn't much talent required. Swimming is probably the closest sport to track. These athletes must have an inner drive; they must have some significant amount of talent and a mental toughness, but most of all they possess something deep down that is always pushing them to their utmost limits. These athletes are continually trying to find some way to knock their time down, get stronger, whatever....there is never an ending point. The only thing that I think separates track from swimming is the fact that in swimming everything is for the most part consistently regulated. Track on the other hand has to deal with the weather, heat, and wind which can drastically effect performances. In track I've learned that with a consistent complaining comes failure and disappointment. No matter how hard the workouts become, no matter how bad you feel, no matter how terrible it hurts, if you push yourself to your mental limits a little more each time great things will happen eventually. 

I love track. I love the joys that come with success, but I also love the disappointment of failure. That probably sounds retarded but its true. I'm about in the middle to lower middle of talent in the world of track, and I've only recently realized that with failure comes determination, re-dedication, and a hopefulness of a better race the next time. Mohammad Ali said: "Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win." I've realized that the only way I can ever hope to reach the top is to keep trying and learn from my failures. Ali is talking about that inner strength and determination that is required of these athletes who have known what it means to have done all they can but not understand why they failed to reach the goals set for themselves. This inner strength and God is the only thing that has helped me get through these disappointments. But what I've come to realize is that these trials build character and with character almost anything is possible. Track provides perfect examples of what life should be all about. Many times I pray before workouts just to be able to finish. Track is hard, if it's not then you're not running hard enough. The hard work instills in us a drive to never give up, never back down, never give in. Life is often very closely related to track in the fact that its painful, it requires dedication, and it builds character which is the only way one can survive life on earth. And for the most part this is true for most any sport.

I think I've figured out why I love track so much...its because it continually offers me to display my talents. It requires that toughness of being a man. It takes lots of blood, sweat, and pain. The disappointments offer no excuses because the blame of failure rests solely on my shoulders, but the rewards for the hard work are tremendous. The exhilaration of running in a stadium at Nationals is like nothing else I've ever experienced. The thrills of coming from behind and winning the race is amazing. Like Pistol Pete was always saying: "put on a show...one that the fans will never forget" is the memorable experience I'll ever experience. Not only does track provide thrills and emotional highs, but I see how much of a success at life will be by how far I will be able and willing to push myself.

Something Better?

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with wanting something more important in life during high school than dating, fashion, and entertainment. We shouldn't have to wait until college or after college to take responsibility for ourselves and find our calling in life. Often our lives in high school reflect our world view as well as values and principles that we cherish, and if this is the case shouldn't we develop our beliefs early on and figure out how God can best use us for his glory? I am beginning more and more to think like this way. Now there isn't anything wrong with dating, fashion, or entertainment in and of itself, but when it begins to rule huge parts of your everyday life it starts becoming a problem. I guess also what I'm trying to communicate is the triviality of high school life is almost disgusting when you sit back and look at it.

Just look at drama. Its terrible. The majority of people's actions are determined by it. Its selfish. Life shouldn't be about how much of a playa guys are, or how good girls are at flirting, instead it should be about quality relationships with the people around you.  Its almost comical to see how much stress and mental turmoil is associated with this drama. It is sometimes very distracting and people loose focus on the things that matter and often a domino affect occurs and the drama begins to involve more than just yourself. As well as drama there are the complainers. People who complain about anything and everything. I'm sorry if you're one of the them, but why don't you just shutup and quit whining, because its not helping yourselves and its probably not helping me. I wish I could say that I am immune to such actions, but I'm human so I often complain alot. Laziness and a lack of self control are often frustrating to me as well.  Its not fair for the teachers and for ourselves when we are continually cutting ourselves short of our potential.  I am continually trying to push myself to keep plugging along. I know its difficult and I have failed many times at being perfect in these areas, but nonetheless we should try to develop strong habits when there aren't many serious repercussions, instead of waiting until the workforce to realize that employers don't like people who are lazy, who don't listen, and who are always a distraction. Rather shouldn't we strive to be the best we can be in every possible situation. Shouldn't we go beyond the expected? Shouldn't we strive for perfection?

Another frustrating thing in my life right now is the fact that I spend 2 hours every Thursday listening to a teacher discuss the importance of the punctuation in a poem, or the reason for a certain symbol in a story which the author intended to have no specific meaning. Now I absolutely love my teacher. She is one of the best one's I've ever had for literature, but some of the stuff seems a bit trivial to me. For some people, they enjoy it. Instead of just looking for trivial things like that, if feel that we should try to figure out how different stories support, oppose, or are applicable to our life and our world view. Isn't that more of a college prep class, developing your world view, than studying how different symbols and characters react with one another. This year we've read Heart of Darkness and Lord of the Flies as well as The Mayor of Casterbridge and I was of shocked at many of the reactions by my friends to these stories. All of these stories primarily deal with the darkness in man's heart. I almost think that as a result of being home schooled a lot of these kids, myself included, know there is some really sick and grotesque things and people in the world, but they seem to be detached. We see it in movies, hear about in songs, and read about it on the news but most of us cannot relate very weel. Personally I have been sheltered from violence, sex, drugs, and the overall wickedness in man's heart. I don't know but it seems hypocritical when we judge the people in these stories for being so despicable, when we ourselves would be just as bad as the characters in the story if not for the saving grace of Jesus. Sadly many of us are still as bad as these terrible and disturbing characters, if not openly then definitely in our hearts. I finally realized the importance that these books posses for the life of a Christian: they give great glimpses into the life of the unbeliever. Like in Heart of Darkness, the options for unbelievers are either to go over the cliff of insanity and spend eternity in the fires of hell, or chose to be morally upright but still end living eternity in the fires of hell. I think that these disturbing stories of the darkness in man's heart should inspire us as Christians to be the shining light in their dark world.

In the end the reasons for my frustration with the triviality of high school revolve around why not be the best we can be right now even when the majority of the population do not expect us to be; why not do away with the selfish motivated relationships with people and instead build strong and deep ones that actually last more than a few months; and why not learn how to reach out to the unsaved people in this world who need God's light more than anyone else.

Love like Winter --my attempt at photography

Is your Time Well Spent?

I got this devotional off of an Fellowship of Christian Athletes website, and although FCA is primarily for athletes this one is applicable to us all. 

"Those who obey him will not be punished. Those who are wise will find a time and a way to do what is right, for there is a time and a way for everything. . .” 
-Ecclesiastes 8:5-6a

Set: 

Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day, and every evening when you lie down to sleep, it cancels whatever part of that amount you had failed to use during the day. And the only variable is that you don’t know when your bank will stop this process. So, what would you do? You would find a way to spend it, right?
In theory, we all have such a bank. It’s called “Time.” Every morning, God credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night God has to write off as a loss whatever you failed to invest toward a good purpose. This account will not carry a balance over, either.
Ecclesiastes 7:14 states: “Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.” Each day God opens a new account for you. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back; you must live on today’s deposit.
Time is a wonderful gift from God. We need to take advantage of every second we have in all aspects of our lives. In athletics, we may be on top at any given moment, but if we do not use the time we have to prepare for the next game or the next season we may find ourselves behind. In life, it is the same. God asks us to obey Him and use our time to serve Him as He has commanded us.
Today, take the time to invest in others and in relationships by following Christ’s example of love and serving.

Go: 

1. How do you spend your time? Do you focus on how you can glorify God with every minute?
2. Do follow Christ’s example by taking time to invest in others and in your relationships?
3. Could you spend more time serving God, serving others, praying, building relationships and sharing the message of salvation?

Workout: 

Deuteronomy 10:12-13
Ecclesiastes 7:14
Colossians 4:5